This Video Of 2 Rays Scissoring Their Nuts To Smithereens Isn’t For The Faint Of Heart

Bryan Brandom

I wouldn’t say Jake Bauers’ third major league start was a smashing success.

But it was a success. And there was certainly smashing involved.

In the first inning on Saturday, the highly touted 22-year-old Rays first baseman collected his first big league hit, ripping a double to right-center.

Ripping, not smashing.

That part would come six innings later.

In the seventh, Mariners first baseman Ryon Healey lofted a Diego Castillo offering down the first baseline. In their pursuit, Bauers and Carlos Gomez, the rookie’s teammate of less than a week, would come to know more about one another than they’d probably care to.

They scissored, violently.

Still, Gomez managed to come up with the play.

(Seriously, don’t watch this catch if you don’t wanna feel it for hours after.)

Bauers suffered sore ribs, Gomez a bruised shin. Both remained in the game.

After going 2-for-4 in a 7-3 win, the rookie spoke with reporters.

“I felt about 45 pounds lighter, to be honest with you,” he said, presumably in a cartoonishly high-pitched voice. “I went to sleep (Friday) night and all I could think about was that and a win and to knock them both out (Saturday), it felt great. … To find that gap, finally see the ball hit the ground, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful thing in my life.”

Wait, is he talking about his first hit or Gomez’s catch?